A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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