I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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