Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
