What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I pour the whiskey from now on
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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