It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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