Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
