I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
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Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
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Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize