That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
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