You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
