he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
