At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
