I got chris browned last night
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
