i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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