I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
