Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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