i jhust puked up my retainher.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
