some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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