Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
