i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
