so that wasnt chicken after all
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
