3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize