$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom said you looked used
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
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