I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
