just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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