very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize