i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Dick very happy bro
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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