worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
