Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
