Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
