We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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