i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
