umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
