It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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