i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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