Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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