planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
