Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
