Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
