Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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