Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Drake has all the answers
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