What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
