Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
