Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
