why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
