He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
splinters make it hard to masturbate
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
