I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
