What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
