How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
