Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
