I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
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After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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