She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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