Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize