He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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