So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
