Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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