The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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