Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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