what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
