it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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