I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
