She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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