and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
