I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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